


these words are knives that often leave scars (the fear of falling apart)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: this could be good (love is patient, love is kind) [6]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers Jungle Fury
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Casey is a messy bitch, Character Study, Coming of Age, Emotional Manipulation, Kissing, Lies, M/M, POV Casey, Personal Growth, Pizza, Self Confidence Issues, Team as Family, Traditions, Trust Issues, Who doesn't know how to do emotions properly, also there's a fake Power Rangers TV show, and he's trying his best, but he does not, but he's fucking it up real hard, but no shit sherlock, character development bitch, not very important to the story but i found it way too awesome an idea, the team supports and believes in him, this whole thing takes place around a pizza place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-20 20:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: The guy from Jungle Karma Pizza jumps in front of them, and Casey's a bit confused but rather welcoming of the help.However, Casey realizes he has very, very big problems when the guy rolls up his sleeve to display his Master's stripes and familiar red and purple ink appears alongside them.Casey's Soulmate is a Master of Pai Zhua, and he's their Mentor. Oh, Casey's fucked.-Casey had entered the Pai Zhua academy and the first and only lesson Casey actually got at the Academy was that of the connection between Soulmarks and animal spirits.“You have to earn your Soulmarks, just as someday you will earn your Master stripes,” Master Mao said, “They are a sign of one day being worthy of your Soulmate. Until then, though, you cannot truly complete your Soulmate."





	these words are knives that often leave scars (the fear of falling apart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [predilection](https://archiveofourown.org/users/predilection/gifts), [Guardian_of_Hope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_of_Hope/gifts), [starandrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starandrea/gifts).



> Title is from "This Is Gospel" by Panic! at the Disco. Lyrics within the story are from "Twin-Sized Mattress" by the Front Bottoms.
> 
>  
> 
> The monster is finally alive! It took 3 weeks to write, because I kept getting inspiration for other things and working on them and sometimes writer's block hit me on this thing, but I like it and I'm proud of it so, you know, anyway it's finally getting delivered. Hope you all like it!

_Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face_

_There are lessons to be learned, consequences for all the stupid things I say_

_And it is no big surprise you turned out this way_

_The spark in your eyes, The look on your face_

_With tears in my eyes, I begged you to stay_

_You said, "Hey man, I love you but no fucking way"_

 

Casey's second week at the Academy is shaping up to be far more insane than he expected it to be. First he summons his animal spirit against a senior student, then he gets selected for some elite group, then a millenia-old demon is unleashed and Master Mao dies. Finding a master at a pizza shop and then fighting monsters aren't the strangest things happening, but they're definitely near the top.

He, Theo, and Lily try to fight the monsters, but they're overpowered. Casey can't believe they've fallen after just one fight, but his instincts and two non-Masters can only go so far.

Then the guy from Jungle Karma Pizza jumps in front of them, and Casey's a bit confused but rather welcoming of the help. 

However, Casey realizes he has very, very big problems when the guy rolls up his sleeve to display his Master's stripes and familiar red and purple ink appears alongside them.

Casey's Soulmate is a Master of Pai Zhua,  _and_ he's their Mentor. Oh, Casey's  _fucked_.

-

When he was ten years old, Casey had gotten his first Marks. They were an apology couched in an introduction, a vague  _My name's RJ and_ _I'm sorry I haven't written yet, but I've got a reason._

And it kind of hurt. For five years Casey had been convinced that he was Soulless, that he didn't have a Soulmate out there waiting for him. And he had gotten used to that fact, pretty much accepted it. But now "RJ" was showing up, with only a vague justification for why he hadn't written to Casey for five years, and it completely upset Casey's world.

Casey never quite learned to trust this RJ for leaving him in the dark for five years, so he never shared his name with RJ. Casey shared nearly everything else about himself- his love of martial arts, his admiration of the Power Rangers, his almost fanboy obsession with Mark Hamill, and his love of Italian food. In turn, RJ shared his actual status as a master of some sort of martial arts style, his bad relationship with his father, and his love of pizza. Casey learned that RJ was ten years older than him- that was a lot of years, but his Uncle and his Soulmate had a thirteen year age difference so it wasn't the  _worst_ - 

RJ took to calling him "Luke," a reference to the name of the most famous role Casey's favorite actor played, and Casey kind of loved him for this. Eight years flew by as Casey went through middle school and high school, occasionally sharing details of his life along the way. RJ, in turn, told him about moving out of his home with his father, starting a pizza shop, and working with someone called "Billy C." on a secret project. When Casey asked, RJ said that he would show Casey it whenever they finally met.

When Casey decided to apply for the Pai Zhua Academy when he was in his senior year of high school, he wasn't sure if he'd be accepted. He knew that the Academy had taken on older students in their time, but they generally preferred to teach from a younger age.

Then Casey had gotten accepted into the Pai Zhua academy and the first and only lesson Casey actually got at the Academy was that of the connection between Soulmarks and animal spirits.

“You have to earn your Soulmarks, just as someday you will earn your Master stripes,” Master Mao said, “They are a sign of one day being worthy of your Soulmate. Until then, though, you cannot truly complete your Soulmate."

Casey was determined to be the best he could, to learn everything possible and to become a Master. He not only wanted to be worthy of his Marks, but he also wanted to be able to impress RJ when he met him. He knew RJ was a master of some sort of martial arts style- if he did his best in Pai Zhua, someday he'd be on RJ's level.

Then a demon was unleashed and his priorities got thrown somewhat out of whack.

-

Over the first few days of training and fighting as Power Rangers, Casey learns a few things.

One, Theo and Lily know far more than he does, but they're willing to share their knowledge and help him out. They're fantastic teammates and, after a few misunderstandings, arguments, and resolutions, pretty great friends. All three of them have their issues, but together they make a pretty damn good team.

Two, Casey's actually pretty good at making pizzas and working as a waiter. It's not exactly where he thought he would find himself when he applied to the Academy, but he's really skilled at it. It's nice to have at least one thing that he can feel confident at when he's struggling to catch up with his teammates in actual combat skills.

And three- RJ's going to be Casey's cause of death, for any of a multitude of reasons. Maybe it'll be because RJ likes to wear short sleeves around the loft, baring his Soulmarks to the world. Every time he walks by, every time he teaches them something, every time they spar, Casey can't help but get a little distracted by the bared Marks on his arms, the shared words and doodles of pizza and wolves. Maybe it'll be because Casey's planning on working himself to the bone in order to earn the right to be RJ's Soulmate. After all, Casey is just a cub, a barely-trained kid who had been handed the mantle of Ranger because of a single act of accidental power. He is nowhere near being worthy of his Soulmarks, just as he is still grasping at the reins of leadership in his team. He is determined to do everything he possibly can to do this right.

Either way, Casey's life is a lot more complicated than it was a week ago. But despite everything- the stress, the balancing of training and two jobs, the feeling of sometimes not fitting in- he finds himself kind of falling in love with this wild life of his.

-

The thing is- Casey doesn’t stop writing. The sleeves of their uniforms, both for working in the pizza shop and for training, are long and thus cover up whatever he scribbles down before bed, in the morning, during breaks.

Casey is breaking a cardinal rule of Pai Zhua to continue to write while still in training, and he knows it. But though he has to earn his Marks, he doesn’t want to give them up in the meantime. Life as a Ranger is stressful and strange, especially as he’s so far behind his teammates in his training, and writing to RJ is just about the only way he keeps himself sane.

-

 _I’m having a bad day,_ Casey admits one night as he’s laying in his hammock, body covered in sweat and a headache raging against the inside of his skull. He’s been pummeled by Dai Shi- who’s actually Jarrod, shock of all shocks- and poisoned by one of Dai Shi’s monsters, and to put it nicely he’s not doing too well.

 _Tell me about it,_ RJ says.  _But you first?_

Casey doesn't want to lie to RJ, but saying that he just took a full-body beat down from the King of Beasts is sure to reveal who he is. So, something similar, he guesses? 

 _I got into a fight trying to protect a friend of mine from some guy who tried to mug him_ _,_ Casey says, because that's close enough to the truth to work.  _I'm feeling a bit sore now._

RJ's original ink is smudged away, clearing a new spot for him to write, and Casey follows suit with his first comment.  _That's understandable,_ RJ says.  _Hope you're taking care of yourself._

 _Yeah, I am. But what happened to you today?_ Casey asks, his fingers already cramping in exhausted pain. Looks like this conversation's going to be a lot shorter than he thought.

 _Someone I care about got hurt rather bad,_ RJ says, and the breath leaves Casey's lungs. RJ cares about him, on the Casey side of things? 

 _That stinks,_ Casey says, because the pain in his ribs can definitely empathize.  _Sorry it happened._

 _Don't worry,_ RJ says,  _I'm taking care of things._

Casey smiles as he pulls his sleeve back down, his eyes falling shut as he does so. Of course RJ will take care of things- he's their Mentor. He always does. 

-

Casey feels somewhat guilty about not telling his team about him writing his Soulmate, but he can't stop. He doesn't know what RJ would do if Casey admitted to writing to his Soulmate before he earned his stripes, especially since that Soulmate  _is_ RJ.

Admitting to write, before he has proven his worth, would be admitting weakness. And though he's gaining his team's respect as their Red, he still has not earned his stripes yet. He is not on the same level as Theo and Lily yet, much less gotten to Master level.

Casey needs to be, though, not just because of his Soulmate but also because he's the Red. He has to be better. He has to be a good leader.

-

And as if things weren't complicated enough, then RJ becomes a Ranger, and Casey is the Red to his Violet. Casey is RJ's leader, and RJ's still his mentor, and there is still purple and red ink hidden under Casey's shirt sleeves.

So, that's a thing Casey has to deal with now.

- 

Theo's birthday arrives and RJ actually shuts down the pizza shop a few hours early so that they can all (including Fran, because Fran's a definite part of their team, even if she isn't a Ranger) celebrate.

First they grab some pizza and take it to the loft to eat for dinner (one of the pizzas is mushroom and pepperoni, Theo's favorite toppings), an event which leads to plenty of fun anecdotes from Lily about Theo's training days. Then Casey nearly laughs when after dinner, Theo requests a marathon of some of the older Power Rangers shows, the ones that came on while he and Lily were training at the Academy. Casey can remember giving RJ regular (and rather passionate) updates on the various incarnations of the Power Rangers TV show over the years, whether it be the good ones in '98 or '03 or the actual travesties of '99 and '07. 

(It was actually kind of interesting to have all the various teams revealed to Casey when he became a Power Ranger, ones he'd never heard of in the news while he was watching the TV shows as a teenager. Teams like Mystic Force and Lost Galaxy, which had fought their battles outside of the normal realms on Earth, were news to him.)

And to everyone's surprise save Casey's, it turns out that RJ actually has the DVDs for the seasons of  _Power Rangers Samurai Thunder,_ _Power Rangers Ninja Force,_ and  _Power Rangers Time Storm_ \- Casey's favorite seasons of the show, and thus 'Luke's' favorite seasons of the show. Casey can barely keep a smile off of his lips when he sees the covers of the DVD cases.

Then Lily asks: "Should I ask why you have so many seasons of a kid's TV show on DVD?"

RJ shrugs. "My Soulmate loves this show," he says, so insanely casual that Casey's jaw nearly drops.

"Your Soulmate, RJ?" Lily asks, "You've never mentioned him aloud before."

"His name is Luke," RJ says, a somewhat fond smile moving over his face. "And he likes Star Wars, Power Rangers, and Italian food."

"Sounds like my kind of guy," Theo says, and Casey kind of wants to say that of course RJ's Soulmate is Theo's kind of guy, because Casey is pretty sure  _he's_ Theo's kind of guy, but he doesn't say a word.

"Yeah," Lily says, "Whenever you meet him, you've gotta introduce him to us," and Casey sinks back a little into his seat, fingers closing around the empty plate of pizza on his lap.

"I'd love to meet your Soulmate, RJ," Fran adds. 

"Don't worry, as soon as I meet him I'll bring him to meet my team," RJ says, grin brilliant, and a lump rises in Casey's throat. He wonders if his teammates will be disappointed when they find out that RJ's Soulmate is him instead of some cool new guy. "I'm sure he'll love you guys-"

"I'm gonna go make some popcorn for the show," Casey says with a forced grin as he gets up from the table, and his voice sounds a bit too loud to his own ears, almost like he's shouting. Is he shouting? He sure hopes not- that would probably be a bit  _too_ obvious.

He also really hopes he's not running towards the kitchen, as that would also probably be a bit obvious.

 

("He always gets so uncomfortable when any of us bring up Soulmates," Lily says, watching as Casey disappears into the kitchen. "And I don't think I've ever seen his arms, now that I think about it."

"Yeah, he even _sleeps_ in long sleeves," Theo adds. "Do you...do you guys think he's Soulless?"  

"There's nothing wrong with being Soulless," RJ says, "The guy who created your Morphers was Soulless, and there have been plenty of Soulless throughout other Power Rangers teams over the years."

"Of course there's nothing wrong with being Soulless," Lily agrees, and Theo nods. "And Casey's our leader and, more importantly, our friend. We would never judge him for being Soulless."

"You wouldn't judge  _anyone_ for being Soulless, right?" Fran asks, voice sharp, raising an eyebrow, and Lily and Theo instantly nod. Fran relaxes a bit, grabbing a piece of pizza from the table. "Good."

"But with regards to Casey," Theo adds, "I just wish he felt comfortable enough to tell us if he's Soulless."

RJ looks over to the kitchen. "We're not going to pressure him to tell us, though," RJ says, "His privacy is to be respected."

"Of course we'll respect his privacy," Fran says, and gives the other two an evil eye that they hadn't thought her capable of dishing out five minutes ago.)

-

Clearing up RJ's 'werewolf problem' takes a lot of work, fighting with Casey's Soulmate, and self-control on RJ's part, but in the end Casey is able to let go of RJ's arms and find his Mentor staring at him without his head covered in fur.

"Welcome back," Casey says with a weary smile, "Seems like you've had a hard day."

"You could probably say something like that," RJ responds. His smile is his usual zen one, but Casey has known RJ long enough to detect the cracks in his happy facade.

"You think we should head back to the base?" Casey asks, but though he poses it as a question it's really more of a polite order as RJ's Red. RJ's clearly exhausted by what just happened, and he's not much use to the team drained.

RJ pauses and looks at Casey, holding Casey's gaze. Casey tries not to squirm under RJ's steady stare, instead focusing on looking RJ head-on. Casey  _is_ the Red Ranger, after all, even if he isn't a Master yet. He does have some ground to stand on when it comes to telling RJ what to do.

But instead of fighting Casey's suggestion, RJ just nods. "You're a good leader, Casey," RJ says, clapping a hand on Casey's shoulder. "You did a really good job handling my...hairy situation."

And RJ is his mentor, his Soulmate, and hearing such a compliment feels really good, even if Casey's pretty sure RJ doesn't understand the full extent to which said compliment buoys him.

(And RJ won't understand until Casey gets his stripes- he'll make sure of it.)

-

Dom shows up, and Fran takes one look at his bared arms before squealing and running at him. Turns out RJ's old friend is actually her Soulmate, and she couldn't be happier.  

When Dom interacts with the team, he is sharp, and sometimes standoffish, but when he's with Fran he's one of the sweetest possible guys in the world. And it's really heartwarming to see what Casey could have one day, after he earns his stripes.

So at first Dom doesn't quite gel with the team- his stubbornness often causes him to butt heads with Theo- but after a few battles, misunderstandings, and arguments, he finally works his way into the team. Casey's really thankful for it. Dai Shi is getting stronger everyday, and their team needs to get stronger in order to fight him. 

-

Then everything goes wrong.

-

Theo and Lily earn their stripes- because of course they do, they deserve the title of Master more than anyone- and they almost immediately run for pens. To no one’s surprise, blue and black ink litters both of their arms within moments.

"I thought it was you," Lily says, grin brilliant, "You haven't changed much since we were seven."

The look on Theo's face is incredibly fond, almost too intimate in its vulnerability. "You either, Lils."

Casey, on the other hand, fails his Master test, because he doubts himself, because he’s unsure, because he asks for answers when a Master should just  _know_ -

(Because the only thing that he knows is that he is not worthy of his Marks.) 

Casey's done everything he can to train, to become as strong as possible, and he's still failed. Of  _course_ he failed, now that he thinks about it, because he didn't actually do everything they wanted him to do. There's only one thing the Pai Zhua wanted that he never did, and that was give up on writing to his Soulmate. Casey's been too weak to do that- he'd leaned on the writing as a way to de-stress, to remind himself that he had someone supporting him whenever he felt down. 

Casey can't be weak anymore. He has to do what must be done, for his team, his Soulmate, the entire world. 

So he stops writing. He’s let it be a distraction for so long-  _too_ long. He has to be a good Red Ranger, has to be a Master, and in order to be a Master he must be willing to give up anything distracting him from his training.

The difference in RJ takes a few days to settle in. At first, there isn't much of a difference in his attitude, but after a few days with Casey refusing to write (despite the pleas that appear on his arms whenever he goes to change), RJ enters the loft, easy grace gone from his shoulders. He seems more and more drawn as the week goes on, words sharper and casual zen gone. Everything seems to irritate RJ more, things more easily frustrate him, and he even snaps at Fran at one point. (RJ apologizes later, once he's calmer, but the look on Fran's face had spoken to her complete shock.)

And Casey knows that it's entirely his fault.

- 

“You’re wearing long sleeves,” Casey overhears Lily say to RJ one night in the kitchen, when Casey is on his way to his hammock after a late shift in the pizzeria.

“I don’t want to look at my Marks right now,” RJ says, and something in his voice makes Casey’s heart break, just a little. “I’d rather pretend as if they’re still the same as normal.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Lily asks, and Casey hears RJ's sigh.

"I'm not sure I want to say," RJ says, "Just that there's something wrong with Luke, and he won't tell me what it is."

Casey takes a deep breath, trying to focus on his attention on training instead of RJ's emotional distress as he heads back to his hammock. Casey has to have the strength to keep this up, no matter how much it may hurt RJ in the meantime. He has to prove his worth to be RJ’s Soulmate, his worth to be the Red Ranger. He  _has_ to earn his stripes.

(The tiger spirit roars in Casey’s chest, desperate to connect with its Soulmate. It wants connection, wants a Bond, wants touch. It chafes under Casey’s denial, grows hungry for any sort of ink to stain his skin.

It knows what Casey needs, but Casey won’t listen.)

-

RJ keeps wearing long sleeves, covering up the tan skin that used to boast red and purple ink, and Casey doesn't write. 'Luke' fades from existence, leaving behind only Casey and RJ as Ranger and Mentor, Red Ranger and Violet Ranger.

It takes a couple of horrible weeks, but RJ starts to return to his normal eternally-zen, possibly-stoned self. Casey finds himself swallowing back bitter happiness at the way RJ's pleas for Luke to answer start to become less and less frequent, taking days between Marks appearing on Casey's skin. (Despite his goal of staying undistracted, Casey can't resist checking every night. Maybe he's masochistic. Maybe he's got a martyr complex. Whatever it is, he can't bring himself to stop until the last traces of ink are gone from his arms.)

A month and a half after Casey stopped writing- the point at which Luke would have been truly dead- RJ's pleas to Luke cease. There are no Marks on Casey's arm, no doodles or words or even ink stains. His arms are completely bare as they haven't been since he was nine-years-old.

(And Casey's heart is completely broken, but Casey knows that it's his own damn fault and that there's no one to blame but himself.)

-

The dojo Casey's been volunteering at has a teaching job open up, and when Casey asks RJ if he minds Casey dropping back on his number of shifts at the pizza shop, RJ encourages him to take the job. It only takes a couple of weeks for Casey to understand why RJ is a mentor, why he agreed to accept three students into his home and life.

Casey pretty much falls in love with teaching, with becoming a mentor to his students. He loves every aspect of the job, whether that be helping students pick up techniques they couldn't get before, helping his students working out their own spiritual and social problems, or inspiring his students to grow more confident in themselves. It reminds him of the struggle he went through at the beginning of his training, and if he can just do a little for these kids what RJ, Lily, and Theo did for him, then he's incredibly happy.

-

“So Casey, how's teaching the kung-fu class coming along?” RJ asks as the five of them are walking down a path in the woods. It's nice to have found a time when all five of them are off work and able to train together out in nature.

“It's coming along. The kids remind me of when I first started, actually." And damn if that isn't a strange thing to say, to realize that Casey's grown so much in the past year and a half.

“I'm sure you're a great teacher,” Dom says, then grins. “Hey, maybe we can sign up Theo. His moves  _are_ getting a little rusty."

“I heard that, Rhino Boy,” Theo says from behind them, and Dom smirks.

“At least his hearing’s okay.”

Theo lunges out into a fighting stance, and seconds later Dom and Theo are sparring in the middle of the path.

“C’mon, guys,” Casey says, automatically shifting into his 'teacher-voice,' “Break it up. Save your energy for fighting Dai Shi.”

RJ stops walking and turns to Casey, and Casey stops as well and looks at him. “Wow,” RJ says, “You’ve really got that teaching thing down pat.” Warmth blooms in Casey’s chest at RJ’s compliment. “So,” RJ continues, voice in that place where Casey can never quite tell if he’s joking or not, “What’s the first lesson, sir?”

The two of them have reached a semi-equal level in a dynamic that will continue to be at least a little unequal until Casey earns his stripes. Casey becoming a teacher in his own right has somewhat bridged the gap between Mentor and student, between Red and Violet. Casey isn't exactly sure where they stand with each other, but at least it's more comfortable than he felt when he first met RJ a year and a half ago.

“The element of surprise,” Casey says, then lunges at RJ. He gets a few hits in before RJ blasts him off his feet, landing Casey behind a bush.

“Guess I learn fast, I guess,” he hears RJ joke, but Casey’s got a trick under his sleeve. He quickly morphs and jumps out from behind the bush, and the look of pleased surprise on RJ's face is beautiful. Then Casey's entire team morphs, and they end up engaging in a five-way free-for-all sparring match. It's a bit relieving and fun to be able to just let free in nature, to not have to worry about breaking anything in the loft.

-

Then, later on, Casey finds himself again walking through the forest, but this time it's just with RJ, and they're discussing Casey's ongoing problem with a bully in his class. RJ, as always, is full of smart ideas and advice, and Casey really appreciates RJ's words of wisdom.

Then RJ is grinning and saying, "Race you to the cliff," and Casey's not about to step down from a dare from his fellow Ranger. He runs ahead, only barely pacing himself, and then reaches the cliff edge in almost no time. Then he turns around, looking to see how close behind RJ is, but finds no sign of the Violet Ranger. He lets out a small laugh, still catching his breath from the run- of course RJ pulled one over on him-

Casey gets bowled over by some kind of giant force and pain arcs up his back as his back smacks into the ground. A moment later, before Casey has gotten the chance to get his breath back, the spirit of the tiger is yanked from Casey’s chest and he screams in agony. It feels like every part of him is being ripped open, a fire searing across his skin and his heart. He tries to push against the beast but without his tiger spirit his hands are weak. Nothing he's doing is relieving the sheer pain in his chest.

He hears RJ’s roar and a moment later the beast is off of his chest. He’s having a hard time breathing, and there’s a sharp pain in his ribs as he tries to stand up. By the time he manages to get to his feet, RJ’s back and the beast's gone.

“You okay, Casey?” RJ asks, and Casey tries to summon the tiger spirit. It doesn’t come, a hole in his chest gaping hungry and hollow, and he hates it. He is fragile, frail, far too human-like in a way he hasn’t been since before Dai Shi escaped.

“The tiger spirit’s gone,” Casey says, and RJ frowns as he helps him sit up.

Wait a moment- there’s not just pain in his chest. His skin itself is aching, pain searing itself down his forearms.

Casey yanks up the sleeves of his hoodie. His skin is bare as the day he turned nine, before RJ ever started writing to him, and Casey can’t tell if that’s because he’s missing his tiger spirit or if RJ just hasn’t written in weeks. There’s no way to tell, either- through his own decisions, his arms are blank no matter what.

“What’s wrong with your arms?” RJ asks, “Did the Phantom Beast hurt you there somehow as well?"

“I think when my Tiger Spirit was taken it wiped away my Soulmarks," Casey said, and RJ's eyes go wide.

"You have Soulmarks?"

Casey manages the strength to raise an eyebrow in confusion. Yes, he hasn't shown them to any of the team, but that's the Pai Zhua way. Only Masters bare their Soulmarks. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

RJ helps Casey stand up and start walking back down the path back to civilization. Casey lets out a small gasp at the pain that radiates from every joint, threatening to send him back to his knees.

"You never mentioned them, even when Lily and Theo were shouting about theirs. We all thought you were a Soulless."

The bottom drops out of Casey's stomach at the idea that his Soulmate had completely rejected the idea that he was even a  _possibility_ , even if it is somewhat Casey's fault for not revealing his name. "I'm not a Master yet. I haven't earned my Soulmarks."

RJ stops walking and Casey stumbles to a stop beside him. He really wishes RJ would have warned him, as RJ  _is_ carrying most of Casey's body weight right now. "We are going to sit down and have a long, hard conversation about some of the fucked up things they taught in the Academy after we get your tiger spirit back."

Casey's brow furrows. His head is pounding because of the fact that part of his Soul is missing and that's probably why things aren't computing, but what RJ just said made no sense. "What do you mean, fucked up things?"

"You don't have to  _earn_ your Soulmarks, Casey. Your Soulmate's meant to be with you, no matter where or when you are in life. They will meet you wherever you are, be whatever you need, and you do the same for them. You and your Soulmates are equal partners, existing to love and help each other."

Casey stares at RJ, at the way his mentor is being completely dead serious right now. "You're joking, right?"

"Not a damn chance," RJ says, and there's no anger in his voice but there is a certain edge to it that warns Casey about crossing him. (Casey knows, though, that he's never been good at following warnings.)

"What about your Soulmate?" Casey asks, and he knows he's digging at a painful subject but he also knows that Master Mao was right about him not having earned his Marks yet.

"Luke?" RJ asks, and his expression transforms from frustrated mentor to fond smile. He begins to walk again, taking on most of Casey's weight as he does so. "We've been having a couple of issues lately, but he's everything I could have asked for." He fixes Casey with one of his patented Mentor-looks. "And no, I did not have to earn him as a Soulmate. He and I are meant to be, and my stripes have absolutely nothing to do with whether we're worthy of each other."

Casey can't believe the fact that despite how much Casey has hurt RJ- the fact that, according to statistics, RJ thinks 'Luke' dead by now- RJ is still thinking so fondly of his Soulmate. He's a Master- shouldn't he have expected his Soulmate to be at the same level as him?

"Don't you want him at your level?" Casey says, because he knows that he wants to  _be_  at RJ's level.

"No offense, Casey, but I'd prefer it if you stop talking about my Soulmate like there's something wrong with him," and though RJ is smiling his tone is almost dangerous, so Casey shuts up. He can't exactly say anything else without revealing his own opinion, and he doesn't want to piss off RJ any further.

Casey's also pretty exhausted right now- he hasn't felt this drained or in pain since his first battle with Dai Shi. He doesn't really have the strength to argue the rules of Soulmates with RJ. So instead, he just lets RJ help him make his way back to the loft, their conversation sitting dead and semi-awkward between them.

-

RJ gets Casey back to the loft- god bless Ranger super strength- and after helping Casey get situated in his chair (and Casey appreciates it, honestly, even though it kind of makes him feel like an invalid), RJ moves off to the side a bit. He returns a moment later with a bottle of water and a red pen. He hands both to Casey- and wow, Casey's been using his Ranger color since he was ten and RJ didn't pick up on it. "You wanna check your Soulmate connection now while I go track down the team so we can talk about the Phantom Beast who attacked you and figure out how to defeat him and get your spirit back?" There is none of the earlier edge remaining RJ's voice- he's back to zen mentor, a tone that Casey very much prefers over angry RJ.

The suggestion of writing to his Soulmate, on the other hand? Casey knows that when someone hasn't written for awhile, the skin on their Soulmate's arms tingles. He himself remembers the sensation that ran down his arms when RJ first wrote to him at age ten.

He knows that if he writes and the Soulmark connection hasn't been blocked, RJ will feel it immediately.

Can Casey risk that?

Well, RJ doesn't seem to mind the idea of his Soulmate not being the Master, and maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to forgive Casey for not writing for months.

(No, Casey knows RJ won't, but he has to find some way to convince himself to take that pen because RJ's gonna get suspicious if he doesn't and Casey's way too tired to actually figure a way out of writing.)

Casey's skin feels strange as he writes on it, as though it belongs to someone else. Casey guesses that the fact that he's gone months without writing is probably contributing to it.

 _It's Casey_ , Casey says,  _Are you there?_ Casey's unable to breathe as he waits for his words to show up on RJ's arm. 

But there's no reaction from RJ- he just continues to watch Casey's skin for a response from Casey's Soulmate- and Casey knows, ice shooting through his heart, that somehow his Soulmate bond has been ripped away by the same force that tore away his animal spirit.

"He's not responding," Casey says after waiting a minute so as not to reveal too quickly what he already knows.

"Give him a chance," RJ says, and Casey wants to argue, to protest, because he knows that his Soulmate won't respond because RJ's  _right here_ , not responding, but saying that out loud would lead to his whole world collapsing around him so he doesn't. "I'm gonna go find everyone and bring them here. Drink some water, okay? Cats may not like water, but we can't let the tiger get thirsty." Casey stares at him and RJ frowns a little. "Alright, that may have been a poor choice of words, considering the circumstances. Still, you know the drill. Hydrate or die."

When another fifteen minutes pass and RJ returns with the team, of course no new Marks have shown up on Casey's arm (because  _how could they_ ). He has, however, drained the entire water bottle.

"I can't believe you were attacked by a Phantom Beast out of nowhere," Dom says, crouching down next to the chair.

"I can't believe he has a tiger spirit just like yours," Lily continues.

"And I can't believe RJ's letting you sit in his chair," Theo says, and Casey processes the fact that RJ is  _letting him sit in the chair._ Casey's been so busy worrying about Soulmarks and tiger spirits that he hasn't processed the fact of where he's sitting.

Casey goes to stand up, to move to another place- because this is RJ's chair, duh, and the one place in the loft where Casey should definitely  _not_ be sitting, and RJ holds up a hand, gesturing him back into the chair.

"Uh, don't get used to it," RJ says anyway, "I'm having a moment of weakness."

And how, after the way Casey just treated RJ and prodded at his vulnerable spot when talking about Soulmates? RJ should be frustrated with him, not helping him like this.

"Are you doing any better?" RJ asks Casey, and Casey isn't imagining the concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," Casey hastens to assure RJ, "Just a little...roughed up, that's all."

"His Soulmarks as well as his tiger spirit have disappeared," RJ says, addressing the other Rangers, and Casey can feel their confused gazes on him.

"Soulmarks?" Theo asks, "But I thought Casey was..." He trails off, obviously not wanting to voice the incorrect assumption.

"No, I'm not Soulless," Casey says, getting kind of tired of having to explain this. He knows that he never talked about Soulmates in front of his teammates, but why did that lead to them assuming he was Soulless? "I just haven't shown my Marks because in Pai Zhua, you're not supposed to until you're a Master. Now can we focus on getting my animal spirit back? Please?"

As RJ explains the name of Whiger and history of the Phantom Beasts, Casey's teammates continue to stare at him. And he gets it, he really does- it's not everyday that you realize that your teammate really has a Soulmate- but that doesn't mean that it doesn't irritate him a bit.  Did none of his teammates think him capable of having a soulmate?

-

Casey heads to the dojo where he teaches his class, as usual, but finds himself completely exhausted while doing it. He can barely concentrate on watching the kids, much less on being actively engaged in teaching.

When he arrives back at JKP's, he's greeted by RJ asking how his day was. This is a normal occurrence, nothing too strange, but Casey can feel the drain on his energy.

He starts to answer RJ's question but is stopped when pain surges through his head. He stumbles to the counter as Whiger's voice sears through his brain, calling Casey to come to him. Casey's friends cluster around him, asking what's wrong, and Casey answers.

"I can hear Whiger in my head," Casey says, "I can see him too. He's in the quarry." He stands up from the counter. "I've gotta go. I've gotta get my spirit back." If he can't defeat Dai Shi until he's a Master, then he certainly can't defeat him without a tiger spirit.

RJ places a hand on Casey's shoulder. "Uh, in your condition- bad idea," he says, gently pushing Casey back down into his seat. "We'll check it out."

Casey's team takes off running and Casey just has to sit there, useless and spiritless while they try to save the world.

He's _gotta_ figure out some way to get up and fight Whiger. He can't let his team stand alone against the beast that stole his animal spirit.

-

His team returns a few hours later- hours that Casey has spent resting in the loft, drinking water and regaining some sense of life- and it's just as Casey feared: without the full team there to fight, his teammates ended up hurt.

"I should have been there to help," he says as they all sit on the mats in the center of the loft, Theo with an ice pack to his jaw and Dom trying to massage the pain out of his arm.

"It wouldn't have made much of a difference," RJ says.

"They threw us around like rag dolls," Theo confirms.

"I'm useless without my tiger spirit," Casey says, glancing around at his team and their injuries. Guilt swamps his heart when he stares at them and what his lack of a tiger spirit kept him from protecting them from. If he'd been there to fight, he could have just prevented this.

Casey sighs and stands up. "I've gotta go. I've got another class at the dojo in a few minutes."

"Wait a minute," RJ says, "You've got it all wrong. Your spirit doesn't make you stronger.  _You_ make your spirit stronger. Think about it."

Casey nods, though he's not sure if he's actually gotten anything near the point RJ is trying to make, and he heads off to the dojo.

-

Casey arrives at the dojo to find Whiger in front of it, attacking civilians. He grabs for his Morpher before realizing that his students can't see him Morph. And though it's the last of his problems at the moment, he can't let his identity get out. He runs a little bit off to behind a stairway and slips the sunglasses on, tapping the side and opening the comm. He alerts the team to Whiger's reappearance and tries to Morph, but can't.

But fuck it- Casey refuses to let his team stand up to the monster alone this time. He's a Ranger for a reason, and despite the pain in his ribs and the lack of power behind his blows, he's still better than nothing. 

Casey can't Morph, but he can't let that stop him. He hasn't just spent the last year and a half training to use his animal spirit; he's also trained in learning martial arts and weapons. Maybe he can't Morph, but he can still fight.

He's about to run out into battle- UnMorphed but not really giving a shit because he's  _needed_ and he can't just let his team fall- when RJ's words from earlier come back to him. It's not the spirit that makes him stronger- it's him that makes his spirit stronger.

Whiger taking his spirit doesn't have to be the thing that breaks Casey, that prevents him from Morphing. Casey is more than just his tiger spirit, more than just a man in a Power Rangers suit with bare arms. He's not a Master, not yet, but he  _has_ grown. He is more than the cub who arrived at RJ's doorstep.

Casey takes a deep breath. He  _can_ do this.

"With the strength of a tiger," Casey says, putting his full faith in his team and himself behind his words, "Jungle beast, spirit unleashed!" He Morphs, his Ranger uniform cleaving to his skin, and he can feel the power of the Morphing Grid course through his veins. He then charges into battle, dead set on not letting his team fight without him.

The team, now with Casey at their side, manages to temporarily incapacitate Whiger long enough to pull out the Claw Cannon and aim it at him. They hit a road block, though, when they try to use the Claw Cannon and Casey just doesn't have enough animal spirit to power it. Despair rises in Casey's chest before his student Jimmy runs up, slaps his hand on the barrel of the weapon, and Casey remembers his conversation with Jimmy about using his animal spirit to guide him in a fight. And Casey remembers that Jimmy's spirit was actually that of the tiger- just enough to-

The Claw Cannon finally powers up and Casey shoots a quick "thank you" to Jimmy, who runs off as soon as he realizes that he's pretty much saved the day. The team then takes down Whiger, summoning their animal spirits into Zord form to defeat the grown Whiger.

Throughout the battle, Casey has a hard time holding himself up. He's exhausted and drained and his ribs- where his animal spirit normally sits- are in so much fucking pain. He holds it together, though he can feel himself holding on by a thread, and they make it through the battle, bringing down Whiger.

As his teammates celebrate the takedown of another monster, though, more waves of pain and exhaustion swamp Casey. He stumbles forward, falling to one knee as he DeMorphs, and a moment later his teammates are by his side. They shout his name and all he can think about is the lack of tiger spirit in his chest, the way he keeps falling at the end of each of these battles without his tiger spirit.

His role as leader is slipping through his fingers, leaving him scrabbling for some semblance of the control he has learned over the past year.

-

Casey goes to the dojo that afternoon, seeking both to congratulate Jimmy for his heroics in battle- because damn, without that incredibly brave nine-year-old the Rangers would have lost- and to find some sense of normalcy. He doesn't need his animal spirit to teach martial arts, to be a good teacher to these kids.

He does find himself something approaching normal as he watches these kids work through their issues together, Todd and Jimmy agreeing to be friends and to learn from each other.

At least he has this, even if he doesn't have his tiger spirit.

-

A new monster shows up the next day and Casey's about to go and fight, but RJ stops him, saying that he needs someone to watch the store and Maurice (the rat RJ caught, because RJ can't hold back from doing anything that the rest of humanity would find strange). RJ pulls no punches when he says that Casey should do it because he doesn't have his spirit and therefore might not be able to Morph.

The moment RJ's gone, Whiger appears in Casey's head again, trying to summon Casey to him.

And you know what? Fuck it. Casey's gonna go. He needs his tiger spirit back, and they already defeated Whiger once. The beast can't be that strong right now.

Casey heads out the door and goes to the cliff where he first met faced Whiger. Here, he faces Whiger again, but it turns out that Dai Shi has stripped Whiger of his Rinzin power. They fight, but neither one of them is strong enough to take the other down.

"Your destruction is the only thing that can redeem my honor!" Whiger declares in the middle of the fight, at a point where he's managed to get Casey down onto the ground.

"You want your honor, and I want my spirit back!" Casey replies, and sticks his hand up against Whiger's chest. It begins to glow and he can feel the usual energy of the spirit beginning to course through him. If he can just pull for a few seconds longer-

But his efforts send Whiger flying, and the beast nearly goes over the edge of a cliff. Casey catches him, but Whiger doesn't want his help. The beast thinks it's dishonorable to lose, to have a Power Ranger save him. 

But Casey's had a long couple of days and he can't put up with this shit. He's a Power Ranger and dammit, he's going to save every single creature he can. And that includes every animal and person on the whole damn planet, if it comes to that.

He manages to pull Whiger up on top of the cliff, where Whiger starts to shout about dishonor and how Casey saving him caused disgrace to his name. "I tried to destroy you," Whiger says, "And yet you save my life."

"It's just what we do," Casey says, "We're taught to help people and...animals."

Then his Morpher beeps, and Casey checks it. Dammit, the team is in trouble. He has to go save them. He runs off back into town and the location where RJ pinpointed the Beasts at, but he finds nothing.

Then Whiger arrives and declares that he can help Casey find the other Rangers. Casey doesn't want to trust him, but he doesn't really have much of a choice. He has no idea where to go, no team, and no animal spirit.

They get to the rat traps and Casey finds the one that's holding his team. He doesn't have a chance to rescue them, though, before Camille comes in and him and Whiger fight her. They fail at first because Casey doesn't have his animal spirit, but then Whiger slams Casey's hand into his chest and-

The spirit of the tiger settles into Casey's chest and with it comes a glorious pricking sensation on his arms. He ignores it for the moment, though, instead focusing on the rush of power in his veins that will help in fighting Camille with Whiger. He knows that Whiger is on his last legs, the Phantom Beast rinzin nearly gone from his body, and he hopes that Whiger can last as long as possible.

They take down Camille- at least temporarily- but Whiger falls so Casey spares a moment to mourn. Yes, the Phantom Beast stole his animal spirit, but in the end Whiger had been on their side and had died a hero in the fight against Dai Shi.

Then Casey summons the Shark Sabers and uses them to cut through all of the cages and the chains that hold them. All around him colors flash until the Rat Traps are all destroyed and his team is standing in front of him. He DeMorphs, grinning as he finds himself being hugged by all of his teammates, except-

Except RJ, who is standing to the back, staring at his arm beneath his rolled-up sleeve. And Casey can see the Marks that he forgot to erase from his own skin when he ran out to save his friends.

_Oh no._

"Luke?" RJ asks, voice low and unsure and somehow terrifying in its vulnerability, and Casey's heart crashes through the floor. RJ  _knows._

Casey winces. "Yeah, RJ?"

"Casey, you think you have something you want to tell me?"

Casey wishes that there was something he could read from RJ's tone- anger, annoyance, frustration, sorrow- but it's just his usual, almost-stoned-sounding voice, and Casey doesn't know how to act. He wants a cue, something that can take the decision out of his hands, but RJ's not giving him that option.

"I think..." Casey swallows, taking half a step backwards. He wants to run from the situation, to turn tail from RJ and everything Casey's done that's hurt him, but he can't. He can't let his fears control him. RJ deserves a straight answer, even if said answer will destroy their friendship.

"RJ," Casey admits, bracing himself for the implosion of their relationship- because Casey's not a Master, and he should have been by the time he told RJ the truth. "I'm your Soulmate."

Dom, Lily, and Theo's heads whip to look at Casey. Their eyes are wide, their jaws have dropped. "No way," Lily gasps.

" _You're_ RJ's Soulmate?" Theo asks, tone disbelieving, and Casey wishes that he could explain this, somehow, but RJ has finally decided to emotionally engage with the situation.

And it seems as if he's chosen frustration. 

"You never told me it was you," RJ says, "We've been a team for a year and half now. You couldn't trust me with that sort of thing?"

"Trust has nothing to do with it," Casey immediately says, even though trust  _used_ to have something to do with it when RJ left Casey Soulless for five years (without ever explaining why) and Casey hadn't been able to trust RJ with his name. What's going on now, though- Casey not telling RJ who 'Luke' truly is, despite the fact that they're on the same team- has everything to do with the fact that Casey has not yet earned the right to call RJ his Soulmate. "It has everything to do with the fact that Soulmarks are a distraction from training. Pai Zhua students aren't supposed to write their Soulmates." At least, that's the sanitized version of the answer.

"That old rule?" Dom snorts. "That's a fucking joke."

"You bonded with your Soulmate  _after_ you became a Master," Casey says, tone biting, and he can feel the tiger spirit raging within his chest. "All of you did. Once you entered the Pai Zhua way, you didn't start writing to your Soulmate until you'd earned your stripes." 

"I wrote to Fran to years before I met her-" Dom starts, but RJ interrupts him.

"Then you're a hypocrite, Casey," RJ says, and the last time Casey heard such anger in his voice they were fighting Dai Shi himself. "You wrote to me while you were here and only stopped a few months ago, right after Theo and Lily got their-" his words tumble to a stop and Casey knows he remembers their conversation from yesterday. "You stopped writing when Theo and Lily got their Master stripes." A look of disgust grows on RJ's face. "You were there for a week, Casey," he says, "How the fuck did those ideas get so ingrained in your head?"

"Because you told us that a team had to be equal. They had to have equal training, equal power, or the team would fail!" Casey nearly shouts, because he's the dead weight, the Red who lost his animal spirit, the only one of them who couldn't become a Master. "And I vowed to be the best I could, to do everything possible to train as much and as fast as possible, and I took what I already knew from the Academy and drilled it into my brain so that you wouldn't have to." RJ's eyes are wide, and so are the rest of his teammates'. "I let my Marks become a distraction, and we paid for it. I couldn't become a Master. I couldn't be the leader you guys needed."

"You've more than earned your Soulmarks, Casey," Lily snaps, and Casey looks at her, at her indignant expression, at the righteous fury in her eyes. "You've earned your place as our leader a thousand times over, and whenever we take down Batrat I'm gonna slap some sense into you, you fucking  _idiot_ of a hero the you are."

Theo nods. "I hate to cut you guys off, but we do have to go take down Batrat," he says, and Casey nods. He has to be a good leader, has to lead his team into battle. He knows that well- he can definitely be comfortable with that. "But Casey, Lily's right. You have  _more_  than earned being our leader, and you don't need Master stripes to prove that."

Casey swallows and risks a single glance at RJ, whose face is a storm of emotion. Their zen mentor who they first met in a pizza shop isn't there- this is the man who fought with his father, who created his own path rather than follow a spirit path he didn't fit. This is the man who clawed his way into the wolf path, who managed to convince Billy Cranston himself (because who else could 'Billy C.' be?) to help him create Morphers. This isn't a peaceful guy who could be mistaken for a hipster stoner- this is a very, very dangerous man who Casey has just admitted to lying to for the past nine years.

Casey isn't afraid of RJ physically harming him, of course- RJ is one of the most Good people Casey knows- but the power RJ has to break his heart is very, very real. And Casey knows he completely deserves whatever RJ chooses to do to respond.

(Not for the first time, Casey is completely  _fucked._ )

"Time for battle," Casey says, looking back to Theo, Lily, and Dom, because no matter how much he's fucked up with his relationship with RJ, he is still the team leader.

His team nods, and just as they always have, they follow him into the fight. He knows they would follow him anywhere, would let him lead them to take on any monster. And that does heal something of the broken heart he carries in his chest.

-

"Are we going to talk?" RJ asks once they're back in the loft.

"If you want to," Casey says, "You do deserve it."

"I _deserve_ it?" RJ snaps, "Don't you think I 'deserved' some kind of warning? You made me think Luke-  _you_ \- were dead, Casey. You couldn't have once explained that you just weren't going to write for some time? No goodbye, no see you later- the last words you wrote to me before yesterday were  _I'm excited for the new season of Power Rangers._ "

Casey remembers that note- he'd written it the morning before they'd gone through their Master tests. He'd been so full of hope, then- and look where it got him.

"The Marks were a distraction from becoming a Master," Casey says, "I'm the only one of us on the team who isn't a Master."

"But that doesn't mean you had to make me think you were  _dead_ , Casey," RJ says, and there's something raw in his voice that absolutely breaks Casey's heart. "I spent the past three months convinced that my Soulmate-  _you_ \- were dead. And it was hell."

"I-" Casey starts, and then stops. There aren't many excuses that he can make. He didn't think it through, didn't leave RJ a warning that he wouldn't be writing, and he ended up causing so much unnecessary pain.

A silence passes, hanging heavy between them like a cloud of temple incense.

"Let's just set this aside until we destroy Dai Shi," RJ says with a sigh, and Casey's heart doesn't know what to do. Should he be happy that he doesn't have to confront everything that happened, or should he be upset that RJ doesn't want to talk? He knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to justifying his own feelings, after everything he's put RJ through.

So he doesn't say a thing.

-

In the end, RJ is still Casey's mentor and Casey is still his Red, and Casey isn't a Master and no matter what RJ's opinions are when it comes to Soulmates and equality and worthiness, Casey needs to become a Master for his Ranger duties.

So they just don't talk about it. A week passes and they gear up for the final confrontation with Dai Shi and the Phantom Beasts, and they don't talk. They never talk. And Casey doesn't think about it, instead focusing on the war and training and pizzas and everything  _but_ Soulmates and what they mean.

(Okay, that's a slight lie. He does think about it, sometimes, when he lets himself.

That night, after everyone's gone to bed, Casey goes to the bathroom and wipes away the writing. It's almost saddening to see his own name, written in his red ink for the first time, getting washed away, but he doesn't want either him or RJ to have to be distracted by the Marks while they're gearing up for Dai Shi.

Over the next week, Casey watches for any new Marks to show up, but RJ doesn't write. Casey doesn't want to be upset by it- he understands why RJ is mad, and why he isn't writing, but he can't deny that he does feel a bit hurt. After all, this is the first time in nine years that RJ knows that it's Casey, and he's not writing. Casey can't tell if RJ is hurt by what happened, choosing not to write in order not to be a distraction, or if he's maybe disappointed that his Soulmate is Casey. And that uncertainty is nagging at Casey like a pebble in his shoe.)

-

Everything changes when Casey sees Jarrod.

And he knows it's Jarrod, not Dai Shi, because he catches sight of Jarrod not only being kind to Camille- something Dai Shi has never been capable of- but also, just for a second, he sees Jarrod's skin flash. For just a moment ink appears on Jarrod's skin, and Casey  _knows_ that Dai Shi can't be in complete control.

It's been well-documented by nearly every Ranger team that only human bodies uncorrupted by dark forces can show Soul Ink on their skin. Any demon or magic that has completely taken over a human body forces the Soulbond away from the skin, thus automatically wiping away the Marks. It happened with Tommy Oliver, Hunter Bradley, Trent Fernandez, Ryan Mitchell, Karone, and a whole host of Rangers that experienced it temporarily before reverting to their normal human selves. Casey's heard the stories from RJ, seen the sometimes well-recreated scenes on the Power Rangers TV shows he grew up with as a kid.

But being a Ranger and studying Ranger history with RJ has taught Casey one very important thing about the Corrupted Rangers- when they start to become good again, when they start to show signs of being human once again, the journey is always accompanied by the return of Soulmarks to their skin. 

And on Jarrod's forearm, right under his Dai Shi armor, are inked words that Casey can't read from here but knows the appearance of like the back of his hand (literally speaking, in this case).

There's a chance his team can save Jerrod.

-

Casey gets back to the loft and immediately dives into his explanation of what he saw.

"I know he's in there," Casey ends his explanation to his team, "I  _saw_ the ink on his skin. Jarrod has a Soulmate out there somewhere, and his Marks aren't completely gone."

"Jarrod's not in there," Theo says, "Dai Shi took him over a long time ago." Lily and Dom nod, adding verbal confirmation of their agreement with Theo's conviction.

"I'm going," Casey says, voice a blade. He's doing this whether his team likes it or not, because it's the right thing to do. "I'm going to find Jarrod, and I'm going to rescue him from Dai Shi. And you guys can't stop me. I'm the team leader."

He is greeted by silence and stony stares.

He looks at RJ, who hasn't said a word yet. "Are you going to put your two-sense in as well?"

RJ just looks at him. "It's your decision as team leader," RJ says, "Whatever you say goes."

Casey's not sure what he wanted or expected from RJ, but he's going to take whatever RJ's feeling and run with it, even if the answer sits uneasily in his stomach.

- 

There are a whole host of emotions coursing through Casey as he faces Master Mao's ghost in the forest. Guilt, over everything- RJ, Jarrod, his team. Anger, over his own failings. Determination to help Jarrod and defeat Dai Shi.

"Look into your soul, Casey," Master Mao says, "You know that Jarrod's heart wasn't pure."

"Or maybe he was so alone that he had nothing to fill his heart," Casey says, and he wonders about Jarrod's Soulmarks. Did Jarrod know his Soulmate while in the Academy? Did he write, even though it was against Pai Zhua rules? 

Or did write whatever is on his arm in an attempt to reach out to a Soulmate he'd never met, to somehow prove to himself that he wasn't Soulless? Casey remembers the five years that RJ was supposed to write and never did, the years where Casey thought himself Soulless. Casey wrote plenty of times, even after he was long past the point when a Soulmate should have written, in some sad attempt to summon his Soulmate to him. Maybe Jarrod did the same thing- it would explain, somewhat, why Jarrod was said to be so closed off in the Academy.

"If you go to Dai Shi's domain," Master Mao says, "You are likely to be destroyed. Is that really what you want?"

Casey takes a deep breath. "Thank you, Master, for all that you've done. But I have to do this. I can't let my lack of Masterhood stop me from making my own decisions. I have to let go of my insecurities as a leader. I  _know_ Jarrod is in there, and I'm going to help save him from Dai Shi."

He walks through Master Mao, but the Master has one last set of parting words. "Casey," Master Mao barks out, "Are you trying to save Jarrod or redeem yourself?"

Casey knows that the answer is somewhere in the middle. He's trying to prove himself for his Masterhood, trying to save Jarrod, trying to defeat Dai Shi, still trying to somehow earn his right to be RJ's Soulmate despite the fact that RJ says he doesn't have to do that. He's trying to make up for the damage he's done, both to RJ and Jarrod.

But whatever the reason is, Casey has to do this.

-

Casey steps foot into Dai Shi's base and he knows there's no going back. 

"So, you dare come here?" Dai Shi announces and lets out an immense roar that shakes the stones under Casey's feet. Casey doesn't flinch, though- he is here to save Jarrod and to take down Dai Shi. There is nothing Dai Shi could do to scare him now.

"You were foolish to come here, Tiger Master," Dai Shi says, and Casey doesn't need to look at his own arm. He isn't a Master- he might never be one. "It will be your undoing."

"I'm not a Master," Casey says, standing here, unworthy of his Soulmate but knowing, deep in his gut, that he's doing the right thing. "I'm just a friend."

"I don't have any friends," Dai Shi says, "Only Dai Shi." And Casey  _knows_ he was right. Jarrod is still in there.

"Dai Shi's not your friend," Casey says. "He's warping your mind. I know you're human in there," Casey says to Dai Shi, to  _Jarrod_ , who he knows is there somewhere, because he has seen the way Jarrod sometimes acts towards Camille, gentle in a way a demon could never be. "You have a Soulmate somewhere out there- I've seen the real you with my own eyes."

"Look a little closer," Jarrod says, all cold menace. "If this body once had a Soulmate, it is all mine now," and now it's Dai Shi talking, every word dripping with cruelty.

And then Dai Shi attacks, and Casey might not be a Master but he  _is_ the Red Ranger. He has trained and fought for a year and a half, being mentored by RJ and the Spirit Masters and being taught important lessons from his friends. He has learned focus from RJ, dedication from Theo, grace from Lily, and determination from Dom. 

Maybe Casey's not a Master, and fuck it, he may never be. But he sure is a warrior, a Power Ranger dedicated to the fight for Good. And he will not fail. He can't.

"We don't have to do this," Casey shouts at one point, when his and Jarrod's hands are near each other's throats.

"There's no turning back now," Jarrod says, before shoving Casey back, and they continue to fight, duelling back and forth across the floor of Dai Shi's temple. 

"You're powerful, Casey," Jarrod says when he gets ahold of Casey's jacket, Casey's stance the only thing keeping him from being pulled to the floor. "But you're no match for Dai Shi."

"Then you help me," Casey responds, voice shifting to his more leader-like tone. "Together we can destroy him."

"I  _am_ him!" Jarrod screams, and punches Casey across the room. As Casey's making his way onto his feet, Dai Shi shifts into monster form, pulling Beast armor around him.

Casey digs out his Morpher glasses and pulls them onto his face, muttering to himself: "Whose idea was this again? Oh right. Mine." Then he Morphs and he and Dai Shi are back to fighting. Casey pulls out the nunchaku that were the first lesson he learned- a lifetime ago, when he was just starting to figure out what it meant to even study Pai Zhua, much less fight the King of Beasts himself- and battles Dai Shi around the demon's base. They run into just about everything, pushing each other up against every single surface in an effort to take each other down, and Casey's pretty sure he's going to be black and blue by the end of this battle- if he survives, that is.

 _No,_ he thinks as he loses his nunchaku and ends up picking up some of Dai Shi's loose sabers instead,  _I'm going to survive. I have no choice but to survive, because if_ I  _die, then Dai Shi will win._

"Jarrod, look into your heart!" Casey says as they fight, "I know you're in there. I saw you save Camille. I saw the Soulmarks on your skin. Dai Shi never would have allowed either."

"No!" Jarrod screams, but it's with two voices instead of just Dai Shi's. "I won't be defeated!" He chucks Casey across the room and as Casey's getting up, the room fills with light. When it subsides, Jarrod's armor has upgraded itself to King of Beasts level armor.

 _C'mon, Casey,_ Casey thinks,  _You can do this._ He then Morphs into his Jungle Master Mode, complete with rockets and increased strength. 

"I'm not leaving without you!" Casey shouts, and Jarrod laughs.

"You're not leaving,  _period_!"

And then they launch into yet another fight, this one the most destructive yet. Columns fall down around them and walls get destroyed as Casey and Jarrod square off with animal spirits, rockets, and super-charged weapons. Casey is having to use every single talent and skill he has to fight Dai Shi, and even then he's not sure he's winning.

"You foolish boy," Jarrod says, except this time it's Dai Shi's voice in control. "Jarrod no longer exists. I've swallowed his humanity. He is now my slave."

"No!" Casey shouts, "You can't have him! He's a human- he's one of us!"

He attacks Jarrod one more time, and this attack is the one that causes Jarrod to DeMorph, losing all of his Dai Shi armor. He staggers to the floor, collapsing to his knees. Casey stands in front of him, weary and aching.

"Finish it!" Jarrod demands, and Casey can see the despair and longing for death in his eyes. It would be so easy to fulfill Jarrod's wishes, to put a man out of his misery and destroy the King of Beasts in the process. "Do it!"

And Casey DeMorphs. He will not kill another human. He knows that Jarrod has good left in him, and in this state, violence is no longer the answer. The only way to do this is to give Jarrod the choice to decide, unlike what Dai Shi did to him. Casey is nothing like the demon- he will not kill unless it is the absolute last option.

"No," Casey says, "I won't destroy you, Jarrod. You're a human, and a Pai Zhua student. And I care." God, he cares far more than he should, but he does care and fuck, if caring too much is what keeps him from being a Master then maybe Casey's fine with that.

"No!" Jarrod shouts, "I am Dai Shi!"

"No," Casey says as he turns his back on Dai Shi, faith in Jarrod rushing through every part of him. "If you were Dai Shi, you'd destroy me." He drops his Morpher to the ground, and as he does so, the skin on his arm pricks. He glances down and he finds new words from RJ:  _Casey, I believe in you._

The breath in Casey's lungs stills at the appearance of his own name on his skin. He has gotten so used to the name 'Luke' in RJ's handwriting, so used to blank skin on his arm, that seeing his own name appear in purple handwriting is like a very welcome punch to the gut.

Then he lets his sleeve fall and he closes his eyes. He hears Jarrod and Dai Shi's growling and aborted yelling getting closer to him, and then it stops moving. He opens his eyes and turns around to find Jarrod being enveloped in red flames as a spirit expells itself from his body. Casey watches in mute horror as Jarrod tears at his own hair, eventually screaming as the nebulous form of Dai Shi rips itself completely out of Jarrod's body.

He catches Jarrod as the Pai Zhua student collapses backwards onto the ground, taking his first free breaths in a year and a half.

"You dare defy me, Jarrod?" Dai Shi declares, and expells a blast of energy that sends Casey tumbling into the wall behind him and starts to tear something out of Jarrod's chest. "Humans cannot be trusted- they must be destroyed!" Camille comes running forward- from where, Casey isn't quite sure- and stands by Jarrod's side, splitting Dai Shi's focus between the two of them.

"You dare stand with the humans?" Dai Shi says to Camille, "Then you will be destroyed as well!" Camille and Jarrod get thrown back to the wall on either side of Casey, who reaches out a hand in each direction to try and connect to them.

The three of them are drained, exhausted, and battle-worn. By all rights, they should have no chance against the King of Beasts. But Jarrod is human again, and Camille has decided to betray Dai Shi, and Casey has already worn out Dai Shi's energy by battling him to what was basically a standstill. Casey has faith in the three of them, in their power and his own.

_I am enough, whether I am a Master or not._

Casey stands up and summons his animal spirit, sending the tiger barrelling toward Dai Shi. It does a surprising amount of damage to the King of Beasts, but Casey can see that it's just not enough to take him down completely. Then Camille and Jarrod stumble their ways to his side, and to Casey's pleased shock Camille and Jarrod summon their respective spirit animals, weak as they are, and send them to join his tiger in the fight against Dai Shi.

Casey can't say how long the spirit battle lasts. It could be seconds, could be minutes, could be hours. All he knows is that it eventually ends, and Casey finds himself staggering back into the wall as his spirit sinks back into his chest. He leans over and picks up his Morpher, revelling in the feeling of smooth plastic under his fingertips. He's alive and Dai Shi isn't- it's a fucking miracle.

"We just destroyed Dai Shi," Jarrod says, a tone of awe to his voice, and Casey nods, a weary grin rising to his lips.

"That we did."

"But there are still the Phantom Beast Generals," Camille says, and Casey nods, swallowing back the groan that wants to escape from his lips. Camille has a point- he battle  _is_ far from over.

"How do we get out of here?"

"The entrance to the left should take us out onto the mountain side," Camille says, "And that should lead us to the Phantom Beasts and where they are planning to fight your little friends."

They manage to make their way out onto the battlefield, where they find the rest of Casey's team, who are already Morphed and ready for battle.

Casey is about to Morph and join them, but then RJ pulls Casey into a brief but tight embrace and Casey can't help but hug him back just as tightly.

"RJ, I'm sorry about the Marks," Casey says, "I really fucked up-"

"I forgave you a long time ago," RJ says as he pulls back, "At least, I think it was a long time ago. A moment can seem an eternity when a war is going on."

And Casey has so much he wants to say, so many promises to make and questions to ask, but then the Phantom Beast Generals arrive, weapons blasting, and Casey has to table the conversation to later.

-

The battle ends and Casey's Master stripes don't show up. He can't bring himself to care, what with the fact that his team has saved the world, rescued Jarrod, and somehow managed to turn Camille to their side. Not bad for a day's (a year and a half's, if he's being honest) work, right?

Lily pulls him and Theo into each of her sides, and her grin is one of the brightest things Casey's seen in months. "We did it!" she nearly shouts, squeezing them both.

"That we did," Casey says, glancing over at RJ, who's staring at him with a small but proud smile on his face. Something in Casey's heart lifts, feeling even more weightless than it did after defeating Dai Shi himself.

Casey's quickly distracted, though, by of all people, Camille.

"Red Ranger," Camille says, voice something approaching confused, and Casey looks at her. Her gaze is fixed on her own arm, and her normally stone-like expression is somewhat narrowed in suspicion. "What is this writing on my arm?"

Casey steps forward to look at her arm, where Marks have appeared in black ink.  _I've passed the final test_ , the writing on her arm says,  _Wish me luck on whatever Master Mao wants me to do._ It looks just like the ink that Casey saw flash onto Jarrod's arms just yesterday-

"Holy shit," Lily says, looking up at Jarrod. Everyone is looking at Jarrod, because who else could the Marks on Camille's arm belong to? Lily and Theo's Soulmarks belong to each other, and they're the wrong colors anyway, while Casey's are RJ's.

"I didn't think demons could have Soulmates," Theo says, and Casey shrugs, giving him a helpless smile.

"If Camille can turn on Dai Shi, I'm sure she can have a Soulmate." 

Camille's brow is furrowed as she turns to Jarrod. "What is all this mess about being a 'Soulmate?" Camille asks, and in any other situation Casey would find the look on Jarrod's face incredibly amusing. But Jarrod is pale- far too pale to be healthy- and looks like he's about to collapse from exhaustion. Casey's guessing that most of the team is pretty drained, but Jarrod's had a demon living in his body for the past year.

"I think we need to get everyone some food first," RJ says diplomatically, "And then you and Jarrod can talk. That sound okay?"

Jarrod nods, and Camille looks a bit suspicious of the offer but follows Jarrod's actions.

Casey can't help but appreciate RJ's suggestion. After a battle such as this one, they're all exhausted and starving- and what better way to recover than with pizza?

-

They get back to the store and it's no question that JKP is shutting down for the afternoon. They enter the store and Fran takes one look at their ragged group before dashing forward flipping around the 'CLOSED' sign.

"You all need pizza," she says, all business-like, and practically pushes the team into seats while hurrying off to make what's going to have to be enough pizza to feed an army.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Dom says, voice practically dripping with fondness as he stares after her back, and Lily rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, your Soulmate's great," she says, "And her pizza shop skills are amazing. You love her and so do we."

As Fran buzzes about, Casey turns to RJ, who is sitting in the seat next to him. "So," Casey says, unsure how to begin, "Us."

RJ nods. His smile is zen, almost as if they haven't won a war and destroyed the King of Beasts himself. Casey can't believe this man and how much he loves every aspect of him. "So- you like Star Wars?"

Casey bursts into laughter. Of all the things RJ could start with, that's the one he chooses? "As a matter of fact, yeah."

"You haven't mentioned that to me out loud yet."

Casey shrugs. "Guess I thought it would give me away."

"I don't believe I'm  _that_  perceptive," RJ says.

"You're pretty damn wise," Casey says, "And you're always picking up on things about Theo, Lily, and I that we didn't even realize about ourselves. So why shouldn't I have expected you to pick up on something I already knew?"

RJ shrugs. "Touché, Casey."

And Casey is so ready to laugh and let go- but Casey needs to talk about one last thing before his world becomes completely happy-go-lucky.

"I don't have my master stripes yet," Casey says, and RJ's smile slips away, replaced by a serious look.

"I told you I don't care about that."

"I know," Casey says, "I just need a little bit to accept that."

RJ reaches out a hand and Casey holds very, very still, as RJ's fingers caress his cheek. He meets RJ's gaze and the sensation is heady. For the first time, the war is not hanging over their shoulders. For the first time, RJ is staring at Casey not as his Red, not as his student, but as his Soulmate. There is a tenderness in his gaze that makes the bottom drop out of Casey's stomach. 

"But I can definitely start that process now, if you don't mind," Casey says. Then, without hesitating to second-guess his decisions, he leans in and RJ, thankfully, understands the intent behind the movement. His lips meet Casey's in the middle, sealing them in a kiss.

Casey remembers being a kid and wondering what it would be like to kiss his Soulmate. When he first pictured it at age twelve, he had quickly determined that kissing anyone would be pretty gross. At age fourteen, he had thought that it would be like a fairytale. At age sixteen, there had most definitely been an awkward boner situation. At age eighteen, right before he'd headed off to the Academy, he'd imagined it would be the best moment of his life, something movie-like where the world would go slo-mo and music would play.

At age nineteen, his hand makes its way to RJ's cheek. Casey can taste tomato and pepperoni on RJ's lips despite the fact that they haven't eaten pizza since last night. The angle's kinda weird, their noses bumping a little, but Casey can't bring himself to care. The kiss is everything perfectly imperfect, the culmination of a year and a half of bitter denial and in-person friendship. 

"About time," Casey hears Lily comment and as he leans back he can see Theo handing Dom a ten dollar bill over top the pizza. Fran is smiling, and though Jarrod and Camille have no idea what's going on, even Jarrod is smiling a little bit. Camille seems wholly disinterested in the matter, but her hand is in Jarrod's and she is suspiciously eyeing the pizza so Casey's not that worried about her.

"Gonna have to agree with her," RJ says, staring at Casey's face.

"That  _was_ pretty great," Casey agrees, unable to look away from RJ either.

RJ's hand drops from Casey's face,  and Casey thinks about how adjusting back to completely civilian life is gonna take a bit of effort.

Jarrod has been living with a demon controlling his body for the past year, and Camille has been a demon for ten millennia. Lily and Theo have been living in an isolated Academy for eight years now, and even though they work at a Pizza Shop now being a Ranger has just prolonged their minds getting stuck in the Pai Zhou way. 

RJ and Dom will probably have it easier- they have already gone through the transition from Pai Zhou master into normal life once before. And Fran- she'll probably have a decent time of it as well, as though she's been messed up in the team's work for ages she's never actually had to fight

And Casey- Casey himself is going to have a time adjusting from the mindset of Red Ranger, undeserved Soulmate, into whatever life is going to bring him next. 

He's not a Master, and for the first time in a year and a half that isn't bothering him. Instead, all anxieties about the future have nothing to do with Masterhood and everything to do with  figuring out this relationship of his and figuring out what the fuck he is going to do with his life next.

"Here's to whatever comes next," RJ says, lifting a slice of pizza in Casey's direction.

Casey smiles and picks up his own slice. "I can definitely toast to that," he says, and cheers spring up around the table echoing his words.

 

_This is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames of my friends bodies_

_For the friends I've made; for the sleepless nights_

_For the warning signs I've completely ignored_

_When the flood water comes, it ain't gonna be clear-_

_It's gonna look like mud_

_But I will help you swim_

_I'm gonna help you swim_


End file.
